2 months down

I think I get along with and connect with teenagers so well because I have regressed to one here, or maybe I never grew up!  I think the whole culture shock/language barrier thing has made me extra emotional and moody.  Like, one minute I'm laughing and loose and dancing (I know, right? Me, dancing? In public? Crazy.), and the next minute I'm crying and upset about something.  Hormonal teenager.  And the dependence on people for everything also makes me feel like I'm 14.  I feel like a child because I can't communicate and say what I want to say when I want to say it.  It's so frustrating.  I learned a lot at language school in Antigua and it was really beneficial, but it still takes a few seconds for me to work out what I want to say.  And then if I'm excited, or upset, or scared, or emotional, it takes even longer to think in Spanish, and usually it doesn't even come out, it only comes out in English, because that's easier.  So, please keep praying for language acquisition!  And for my crazy emotional health.  And for my teens.  We had a couple of crises yesterday that kept us very busy.  Nothing serious, just kids going through stuff and trying to help them get it worked out. 

I've been here for 2 months now.  I finally felt like I was adjusting pretty well, getting used to things, settling in.  But for like the past week and a half or so I've not been feeling well again, and have been focusing a lot on all of the negative things.  Having a hard time connecting with why I'm here and what God is doing in and through me.  Instead, I've been longing for the comforts of home, my family and community there, and thinking about missing my birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas at home.  I think being sick off and on hasn't helped, because that makes it harder to be engaged here.  I was so upset one morning this week that I emailed a friend and said I wanted to come home, and the response I received was an encouragement to write a couple stories about how I'm seeing God in the midst of the suffering, how I'm seeing him working in and through me.  In the midst of my complaints and negativity, the good stuff got lost.  Andrea and Federico continue to open up to me.  Federico has such a hard time showing emotion and expressing himself, but he's willing to be pushed to talk about it and has come a long way in the past two months.  Another woman in the church talked with me the other day about being beaten by her husband, and she wants help to get out of this situation and her husband is willing to receive counseling.  Another woman we visited on Tuesday came to church on Wednesday for the first time in months, and her children want to be involved too, and have borrowed Bibles and are so interested in reading the word of God.  I've also been praying prayers I've never thought I would pray.  For example, one of my teens lost one of his family's chicken, the fattest one.  So I prayed last night that he would find the chicken that had crossed the road!  :)  LOL.   

How great is our God.